The latest update....

This is a comparison shot of my dye damge. The first picture is the left side of my head - my texture there is a wiry, tight 4b - and as you can see, almost ALL of the dyed hair has broken of in one patch - this is my constant reminder to myself of the reasons for protective styles, as well as how BAD of an idea it is to bleach/dye my hair chemically.
The right side on the other hand, is 4a like the majority of the rest of my hair - and you can see the difference in how it looks - the dyed hair has not broken off nearly as badly, and it's about 2-3 inches longer than the broken up off side.
*sigh* DYE IS BAD, M'kay????


This is a shot of how my hair would like to stand - straight up. Mind you, in order to get my hair to be this stretched out, it took about a 2 hour combing/detangled session (despite the fact that I had detangled/combed it before putting it into twists) but - I LOVE combing my hair with the horn comb so much, it wasn't even all that bad. Yes, I was bored.



This is my usual hairstyle - from the side and from the back. Really, I don't think my part is THAT huge (I hope not) - I think the flash is just really bright against my shiny hair and scalp. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah. And I'm slowly learning how to keep that back part straight - but the soft, fuzzy, 3c hair back there - well, it's difficult to keep in place.

hair wise - I fell asleep in the cassia last night (I know, I know) but rinsed it out first thing this morning - or at least rinsed MOST of it out. As I expected it was HARD to rinse out, and when I first rinsed it out, I couldn't really tell a difference in feeling - I could see that my curls were looser again like the first time I henna'd, and I THINK that my ends are a little more brown than red now - the amla, I assume - but couldn't tell much else.

I then put in the DC - SE V05, citric acid, and a wee bit of CASH - and I only left it in for about 3 hours, then rinsed THAT out.

WOW! My hair felt GREAT - it was a PAIN to comb my hair out still - the tangles, the tangles - but once I got them loose, they stayed loose....and then, I split my hair into sections, used some HH and then a lil BS on each section, and twisted them, then twisted them into baby bantu knots. I figured that if I let them dry that way, it'll be easier to flat twist my hair tomorrow. After I had that all bantu'd up, I soaked my hair in some CASH, and started chores. It's been about two/three hours now, and most of the oil has been soaked into my hair.... I figure that I'll add more HH tomorrow and then flat twist them - it should keep my hair nice & soft....

Anyhow! My hair feels nice & strong again - I realized that I missed my 'piano-wire' hair!! I'm thinking every six weeks is a good amount of time - maybe alternating henna and cassia??

Gah. Back to chores......

Stuff & All.....

MErh.

Have been meaning to write for a few days, but just plain haven't - don't know why - I might be hitting one of my quiet times.

Let's see - I tried my usual Wednesday DC - oil, honey and conditioner, and STILL ended up with dreadfully tangled and rough ends. I think now that either I'm using too MUCH oil, or my ends are crying out for a good trimming. I REALLY want to wait til next month and do it by the moon, but I'm not sure that my ends can really handle that - at least not without some help.

So! I'm sitting here right now with a nice thick amla/cassia/CASH/conditioner mix on my head - the cassia I got a while ago in a swap, and it's old, but I figure that it should still give me a nice bit of conditioning, and hopefully thicken & stregthen my hair. I purposely made it PRETTY darn thick, so that I could focus it on my ends more than on my roots - I think I've learned my lesson about henna/cassia & my roots. It's a good bit grittier than the henna from mehendi too - so it'll be 'interesting' to wash out...

They suggest that you only leave it on for an hour - Murph! I think I'll leave it on for about two-three hours, and then do a nice DC overnight with my new conditioner that I got today - it's V05 Split Ends conditioner - it claims to protect hair from breakage and split ends, and is cone free - and was MONDO cheap at Family Dollar, so I'm stoked about that.....though - I'm thinking that since it has protiens in it, I most likely shouldn't put any honey in it - after reading RainKitty's thread about 'flaky' results with honey - I'm thinking that mixing honey & protien might not be the BEST idea for my hair right now. So - just con and CASH and citric acid - and just a wee bit of the last two!

Ah! That's what I wanted to talk about - I did a swap with EbonyGurl000 and got more Whipped Pudding (WP, how I :love: thee!) and some Burnt Sugar Pomade. Now, the BSP does NOT smell like caramel - which is kinda what I was expecting - and I wasn't really sure how I felt about the smell. Finally - I figured out what it DID smell like - caramelized/burnt HONEY. With that awareness, I'm digging the smell a little more - it's VERY strongly honey smelling. And I love it, by the way - I smooth it over my flat twists after getting out of the shower in the morning, and tie my hair down for the drive to work, and my hair is sleek, shiny, and smooth for most of the day - longer if I can keep my hands out of it!

I've put together most of my SHT's goodie box - I REALLY hope that she likes this stuff - I STILL haven't gotten the centerpiece, but I emailed the person I was getting it from, and she SAID it was in the mail, so I'm hoping that it'll be here Saturday - or maybe Monday. *crosses fingers* Hmmm - I need to find a box to put all this stuff in.

*grins* Have a good weekend!!

Amazing! I actually didn't write at all over the weekend - but that was more because I was barely online over the weekend - I was busy with all sorts of household chores. I didn't get NEARLY half as much done as I wanted/needed to, but ah well.

A few random thoughts/observations....

*) I was washing my hair Sunday night - working BS & condish through it, and it jsut - didn't FEEL right - my hair ran out before my hands thought it should, and I realized that really - I went from shoulder length hair to a pixie cut, and it's going to take me a while to adjust to the fact that my hair is SHORT. I think that's one of the reasons why I love have my hair put 'up' - I can't really tell how long it is, so it feels as long as it should be, which is about twice as long as it is. If that made any sense.

*) I'm sure that my curls are conspiring against me, as my hair is longer now than it was in that 'fresh from shower' picture that I took all of last week, and I KNOW that my hair hasn't GROWN that much, therefore my curls are jsut hanging looser in order to highlight the silliness of me trying to measure it's growth. It'll hang differently depending on whether it's dry, clarified, freshly conditioned, what sort of conditioner I used, etc, etc, etc..... *gives hair a loving glare* Difficult! Just like me! :)

*) Something in my last batch of DC did NOT agree with my hair - I think I either overdid the citric acid, or the CASH oil does not like to be used in conditioner. The ends of my hair were - gnarly - to say the least. It could have been that the baking soda lifted my cuticles, and sleeping on the wet gave them a chance to tangle and become generally grumpy - once I rinsed with cool water though, they smoothed out MOSTLY pretty nicely. So - my next DC will be condish, honey, and CASH - just to see if it's the CASH - though, something TOLD me to put less CA in it. Well - I can't say that it's done any harm - my ends seemed to calm down rather well once they were rinsed out....so we shall see.

*) Another glorious thing about my hair - it's SHINY. I mean - it SHEENS. And okay, it might be the Humectress (which is making a FABLUOUS leave-in, by the way), but I twist my hair up, tie it down with a scarf to tame all the flyaways while I'm driving to work, and when I get here, it's - SHINY. Heck, my hair is shiner than most of my coworkers - and I'm the only one with 'nappy' hair that isn't 'supposed' to be shiny. *sighs* Internal health & hair products (thank you henna!!) really can achieve some amazing stuff.

Speaking of henna! I went to the local halal market to pick up a pack of pita bread, and saw a bottle of henna sitting on the shelf - it didn't have a date on it, but it was only 2.49, so I figured- why not, right?? I plan on trying it on my skin - that's the best way for me to tell how 'potent' a henna is - how dark does it dye my skin, and how long does it stay? I should dye my fingernails again....

*) Someone started a thread asking 'What does long hair' mean to you? - and I wanted to keep my answer here:

Honestly - I think that I am not all that invested in my hair - it's not a sign/indicator/ flag of anything to me - my refusal to get a relaxed has nothing to do with me trying to 'demonstrate' my blackness - jsut like me getting (and taking out) my locs had nothing to do with 'spirituality'.

I want long hair because it feels RIGHT to me - whenever I think of myself, I see myself with a LOT of hair - thick and luscious and long. It's sensual and nuturing and warm and smells wonderfully of me....it's - so very very natural and so very very gorgeous and so much mine. And since I'm a black woman - and usually the refrain is 'The only way you can have long hair is if you relax it or dread it' - and I'm stubborn, and happen to ENJOY being contrary and proving people wrong - just because it's fragile doesn't mean it'll never grow! -so - I'm growing long hair because I love it, and because I want to learn about it, so that maybe I can show other women (and my daughters) what CAN be done with gorgeous, LONG, nappy, natural hair.

So! I remembered what the other thing was that I wanted to type about - trimming.

Usually, when I twist up my hair, I can tell that it needs to be trimmed because the ends will be really thin, or they won't 'spiral' all of the way. This time though, when I twisted my hair - it was well - it didn't LOOK like it needed a trim. In fact, the ends were actually in purty darn good condition. I remember the day that I look at my hair and groaned that it needed a trim, it was fresh out of flat twists, and I'm wondering if the shrinkage factor just made my ends look to' up from the flo' up. I'm hoping that what it was - not that I mind trimming - it's just nice to see that keeping my hair in a truly protective style is good for it.

Oh yeah, let me pause for a second here and go into a brief rant about my people, my people.

I SWEAR - if I hear one MORE black woman get all defeatist and STATE that her hair won't grow I'mma - I'mma SCREAM. *sigh* It seems like such a simple thing to understand - let's say your hair only grows to neck length, right? And lets say you dye your hair. NOW. If your terminal length is TRULY neck length - you won't HAVE to 'grow' the dye out - the hairs will just shed, and be replaced by new, undyed hairs.....so you won't see the slow, creeping roots, and you won't see the dye slowly vanishing. Same thing with a perm - if necklength is your TERMINAL length, you won't get an even distribution of NG - hairs will just grow nappy. Now. NOW. If NEITHER of these things happen (ie, you GROW OUT) the dye - then guess what? Your. Hair. IS. STILL. GROWING!!!!!!!!!!

Now. The fact that you can't RETAIN length is something ENTIRELY different - and it's something that can be corrected by using the right products, techniques, and styles.
And please, just because YOU can't take care of your hair (or choose to NOT take care of your hair) in a way that RETAINS every scrap of growth, don't tell otha sistas that they are 'obsessed' for trying to grow their hair or that a goal of barely 20 inches is 'unrealistic'. Just say that YOU aren't willing to learn how - and work towards growing your hair out.
Back AWAY from the haterade.
Damn.

*deep breath* Okay - with THAT rant out of the way - I still want to trim my hair with the moon, but now, I'm not sure how MUCH to trim. I still have the ulta short section on the left side (which is definitely growing out - but ALL of the dyed hair has broken off in certain areas *strokestrokelovelove*), but I'm not trying to even all my hair up right now - it's going to have a be a GOOD bit longer before I start doing chops like that - and heaven knows, as much as I would like to, doing a 'dusting' well - um, no. Not on these curls.... though, if I twisted em up, I might be able to pull that off. Well, I've got almost 5 weeks to figure it out, so we shall see.

Yesterday's twistout rapidly downgraded itself to a hot mess - the combo of sweating my arse off in the gym and then going home and 'playing' in it for an hour or two - well, no. I hopped in the shower before I went to bed, got it soaking wet, and slapped in some White Rain. Showercapped up, and went to bed. Got up a wee bit early this morning, combed it out (and the love affair with the horn comb CONTINUES - seriously - all of my combs are in the cupboard except for the horn one (which I keep wanting to call a bone comb) and I'm thinking about attaching a leather strap or something to it so that I can hang it - right now, it's in my conditioner mixing cup) and parted it to put into my flat twists. I used a wee bit of the Humectress as a leave in, and *pats head* my hair - despite being totally dry - is still 'slightly damp soft'. I'm liking it - and I used the TINIEST bit - so that's cool to know that it's nice as a leave-in.

*happy dance* As I'm typing this, I have a new PM - and I just KNOW it's about the Oyin trade (score!!) that EbonyGurl000 and I am plotting on - I can get some of the tempting, tempting, tempting henna out of the house, and finally bust into my cocoa butter, AND swap out the NTM that I know I won't use because it's fulla cones - and I get OYIN! Whipped Pudding and the Burnt Sugar Pomade (which I have been ITCHING to try since I read about it, but I'm trying to control my purchases....) *happy dance*

Ummmm...... I think that's it.

Have a good weekend (like I won't be writing sumthin else tomorrow!)

*happy dance*

Isis very gracefully gave me permission to use her siggy pic - this is what I'm hoping that my hair looks like at SOME point - this is about my color, and I suspect that this will be about my texture - even without chemicals - once it's THAT long, and wet.

Isn't that just LOVELY?? *sigh* I've got so far to go. But, like I tend to say - I'll either be older or dead - and if I'm going to be older, I might as well work towards being the woman (inside AND outside) that I really WANT to be.

It's amazing how my twists go from mildly fuzzy to VERY fuzzy in a matter of hours - I think it's the water rinse that I do every day to 'freshen' them up after sleeping on them. They looked rather nice yesterday morning when I left the house, but by 3pm, I wished that I had a hat or a scarf or SOMETHING to cover them up. I suspect that no-one else noticed (or cared) but I felt like everyone was staring at my head and wondering why I left the house looking like I had been plugged in all night.

Anyhow, I got up a WEE bit early this morning (ugh! another reason to hate DST - my biorhythms are thrown off for at LEAST a month) and untwisted my twists - then got them wet so that they didn't look totally crazy. It's really interesting - my hair held the twist AMAZINGLY well - esp. since I normally can't get it wet without losing the 'twist' curls. My hair looks like I did tiny strawset curls on it - almost like twists, but SO Much fuller - I can almost pull off thick hair with this style - it looks like I doubled the amount of hair on my head. *sigh*

I'm going to go and change my hair thickness to ii as well - *sniffs and strokes hair* I'm aiight with it though, I am, I really am. I think that twists will be a once a month hairstyle though - my ends are SOOO not protected in this style - I've found more fairy knots since I've had twists in than a little bit - and I've Oyined my hair twice while they were in the twists - but since I didn't do my usual Wednesday night DC - I can definitely feel the difference - and after wearing it totally loose today - I'm thinking about doing something mild to it tonight (maybe misting it, and giving it a good oiling) and then doing my usual weekend wonders tomorrow night.

Hmmm - it's only Thursday, but I'm already thinking about hair plans for the weekend. I've been reading reviews of Humectress on LHCF and I think that I'm going to try out the sample bottle I have - but I'm undecided as to whether I should use it as a leave-in, or as a conditioner. Henna is also starting to call my name - Kiyyyaaa - oh, Kiiiiyyyyaaa - it's been five weeks already - come and useeeeeee mmeeeee!!! You can just put me on your eeeennnddddssss *shakes head firmly* I'm quite stubbornly ignoring it - SIX weeks. SIX, dangummit. But even when I do use it, I'm going to just glop it onto my head, and not bother with using the applicator bottle to be sure that I get to my roots.

After the freaky splits, I think that my hair was telling me that in it's NATURAL state, it's QUITE strong enough (ThankyouVERYmuch) and doesn't need anything to make it stronger, so THERE. Whereas my poor bleached/dyed/knotted ends need everything they can get in order to stay attached to the rest of my head.

I've been dousing my head with my CASH oil/CASH creme (the oil, mixed with a healthy few dollops of the Honey Gel I made before) almost everynight this week...it doesn't tingle much - and I used a LOT of cayenne. I'm thinking I might need to invest in some EO - though, some of the gals over on LHCF have been talking about *LOL* basically rubbing IcyHot on their hair....the capsizin creme that they sell for muscle aches? I've heard of all sorts of uses for that creme (including some rather naughty ones) but NEVER hair growing.........hrrrm. I'll have to think about that one. I wonder if my hair has gotten used to the tingle, as other sections of me (like the back of my neck) tingle QUITE nicely, thank you very much.

*LOL* That reminds me - one night earlier this week I had the ODDEST series of hair-related (and TLHC related, really) dreams. First, I dreamt that I had gotten a private message from icydove telling me that my SHT decided that she didn't want to be my friend because I wanted to have kids and she was barren and she just couldn't handle talking to me (and I don't even TALK about TTC all that much cuz - well, we aren't really TRYING just yet).

Then, I dreamt that I went to my favorite thrift store, and they had gotten in this HUGE shipment of hair oils/EO's/hair toys, and I was buying up most of the store for gifts for my SHT.
Mind you, this had to be some way out point in the future, because I had a HEAD of hair - I have one of those 'does my bun look fat in this' buns - and my hairsticks kept falling out, and the people in the store thought I was stealing stuff because I kept sticking my hairsticks back in, and my hair was eating them and then spitting them out later.
*blinks*

I'm going to incorporate that WHOLE last bit of that dream sequence into my NanO somehow - hair toy eating hair... yes, yeeessss.

Urm. *thinks* There was something else that I wanted to type about....ah yes!! I've found my hair goal - I've seen her here and over on LHCF - and I want to ask her if I can yoink her siggy pic so that I can post it here as my ultimate hair goal. Everytime I see her hair I just - I WANT it, basically. It's a wild wonderful wooly cloak of goodness. Actually, I think I will PM her now.....

buhbye!

Wet & Wild

New pictures!!

A wet side view - this is about as long as my hair will 'hang' without product or heat.



Here is a side shot of my twists - just wee little things, aren't they?



But - this is how long it REALLY is - I think that I measured my hair a while ago, and figured out that I have about 80% shrinkage. Sheesh.



My hair is about the same length all over - I have 'natural' layers.....

So - those are the latest pictures!!

So - I twisted my hair up - it took me four hours - laregly because I was moving slower than molasses, and secondly because I did some TEENY TINY twists - I don't know WHAT I was thinking.

Okay, really, I wasn't thinking - my fingers just automatically 'grab' a certain amount of hair, and that amount tends to result in an itty bitty twist.
Two things I've noticed - it's been what - about a month since I've done two strand twists - and either a LOT more hair is breaking off than I'm realizing - or something I'm taking/doing is changing the texture of my hair.

I'm used to my twists in the back being - meh - the curl isn't as tight back there, so my hair didn't hold the two strand twists very well - but now the whole head is - mehlike. They look thinner overall and longer - not by much, but I'm blaming that on the several chops I did before I decided to start moon trimming - but it's DEFINITELY different, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. *lips quiver* I loved my thick boingy two strand twists - now, they are more spirally, and a little less boingy.

The other thing that I've noticed is that my dyed hair is DISTINCTLY finer than my virgin hair - it's funny seeing how much my twists thin down as they get to the end.
I think that I'll do a twist out at some point in the middle of the week, and then go back to my flat twists (safety! cuteness! simplicity! protection!).

I've been - thinking lately - about my overall apperance. I really really REALLY am not a fashion maven - I like long skirts, and comfy shoes, and fitted but comfy shirts in soft fabrics that let me move, flatter the good and conceal the bad, and can stand up to me twitching, running, getting dirty, and can be tossed in the washer. I'm a simple woman, really I am, and the clothes that give me - twinges of pleasure - tend to be 'old fashioned' clothing - and I think that my hair style is 'old fashioned' (though I did see a picture of me in the SAME hairstyle in college - cracked me up), but I'm so NOT old-fashioned, and it's puzzling me.

I was in desparate need for a new (cheap) pair of shoes, and after the thrift store let me down, I went to a 9.99 shoe 'outlet' - and I swear - it was rows upon rows upon rows of high (and low) class hooker shoes. 3-4 inch heels (and I LOVE wearing heels - just not stilettos!) - bright garish greens and oranges and reds and pinks - and - all I wanted was a simple, sturdy, comfy pair of black shoes. I wouldn't have MINDED a little style, a little flair, but I wanted something classic. And in my floor length skirt, and my flat shoes, and my neatly braided hair - I felt SO out of place - so out of TIME - that I wondered if I was turning into an old woman long before my time, or if these 'fashion' designers simply couldn't satisfy MY needs.

I LIKE being comfortable - but at the same time, I WANT to be - attractive. Now, hubby certainly has no complaints, and I've gotten hit on often enough lately to not be TOO worried about my 'sexual' attractiveness - but I feel - insecure in my personal style, and I just don't know WHY. I think I look good, but I'm worried that other people might think that I look dowdy and barely put together, and considering I usually dont give a figs fart about what other people think of me, I'm not sure why suddenly - it's bothering me.
Hm.

I'm going to start with a quick history of my hair in pictures (really, I'm procrastinating from doing all of the other stuff that I should be doing), but - if I don't do it now, I'll just keep putting it off.

Anywho!!!


Starting with me as a wee one - isn't that just the cutest afro EVER???




Now, I grew up Muslim - so, I couldn't find ANY pictures of me between birth & high school (when I made the choice to take off the veil) that had me bareheaded. I had hair though - really, I did!

So - we fly through many, many, many years - and I'm back on the scene - with a short, short relaxed hair. I wish I could remember how MUCH hair I cut off to get this style - I'm certain I was beyond shoulder length - but I can't remember how FAR below shoulder, as I got a relaxer, and promptly chopped it all off. So - this is the next picture I have of me - freshman year at college....



I HATED having a relaxer - unless I went through a can of hairspray, and spent at least an hour in front of the mirror with a curling iron, I looked like a wet cat. So, I went with braids instead - at least until my natural hair grew out enough for me to do something with. I was in braids all of sophmore & junior year.



Once my hair grew out enough - I started doing twists.... that carried me through junior & senior year, and the first six months out of college...







This is the point that I get really confused at.... I'm not sure if my hair was REALLY that long, or if I was just treating it SO badly that I made it unmanageable, but - I got sick of dealing with it, and I started locking....

My locks - well, they carried me along well - until I started going crazy and doing the dye thing - which slowly, slowly, slowly, killed my locks - check out this progression from thick and full to thin and stringy.....








*sigh*

So, so very sad. So - I got sick of my dreads, and said - hey! It's been five years - why not try going back to loose hair? So - I slowly, slowly picked my dreads out (rather than cutting them out as most people suggest doing) and a bucket o'hair later



I was a short haired gal again.



Then, I (not having learnt my lesson about dye yet) went bleached blond, and rich red, in a matter of ohh..... five hours?




And, I went back to the twists.

This was REALLY the point at which I started my 'hair journey' you could say - I REFUSED to live in twists, and I also refused to believe that my hair was simply UNMANAGEABLE - so I started hunting around online - and I found - and fell head over heels into - TLHC.....

I started hennaing..... and doing all the other fun stuff I talk about in my journal - and - well, growing it out. Really, I'm just growing out the dyed ends now - I'm cutting them off with the moon just as fast as I can.... so I haven't SEEN any real increase in length - I think I'm cutting it off/breaking it off almost as fast as I'm growing it.

So! I want to take pictures of my hairstyles (and sad attempts at hairstyles), as well as the creeping line of natural colored hair (henna does NOTHING colorwise to my virgin hair), and - hopefully, since I can't really MEASURE my hair because of the intense curliness (I can say my hair is 4 inches long, or that it is 16 inches long - each strand of hair is 4 inches, but then I have a big ole 12 inch head, so..........)

*does happy dance*

Laters ya'll!!!

Today has been a V. Good hair day....
I started the day with FINALLY starting to create my CASH oil - the recipie I ended up with was:

1.5 cup coconut oil
1 cup red palm oil
1 cup olive oil
1/2 cup jojoba oil
1 cup cayenne
3/4 cup Amla
1/2 cup Shikakai
1/2 cup henna

I also tossed in the last of the SS Oil, and once I strain it, I'm going to mix in some of my personal scent, as well as a little ylangylang EO to make it smell yummy.
I put it all in the crock pot, and it's been simmering for about 5 hours now - I figure I'll let it simmer for another hour, and then strain it and let it cool.

Now - for what I actually did with my hair - I mixed baking soda & citric acid & water together and let the bubbles subside, then tossed in the last of my KOHumectress and some White Rain in.... gave my hair a good washing and...ooohh!!

How could I forget?? I REALLY started with getting my hair wet in the shower - and combing it out with my brand new bone comb and - I'm in love. The tines on the bone comb are the same size as the tines of my middle sized comb - but it combed through my hair like BUTTER baby - I mean - I was AMAZED - not only by how easy it was to comb, but how much more CONTROL I had because there was no handle. I'm a total, 120% convert to the bone combs - I don't think I will use ANYTHING else in my hair. I don't know if it's the boneness, or the treu seamlessness, or what - but :love:
Anyhow - I washed my hair and scalp with the baking soda/citric acid/conditioner mix, rinsed that out well, and mixed up my deep conditioner of the week.... honey, a couple of tablespoons of the still simmering CASH oil, and more conditioner. Slapped that on the hair, and that's still in....

I think that I will do double strand twists today instead of my usual flat twists - mainly so that I can get a good comparison picture - I figure that two strand twists are going to be my 'baseline' to compare my hair length - it's really the only style that I KNOW is consistent.

Hmmm... . I think that's it for right now.