I don't think I'm a nappynazi, I really don't. If anything, I feel more like a nappyhypocrite, most days. I've got a whole list of things to use to make my hair 'less kinky', even when I sugarcoat it into being a 'detangler' or a 'softener' or a 'curl loosener' - the real, net result is that my hair is less nappy once I'm done, than it was when I started.
And it's not that I feel somehow 'superior' because I'm pretty stubborn about sticking to a relaxer/texturizer/silkener free life - for me, it's really a realistic decision based on my finances, my personality, and my lifestyle.
So then, why is it that I still feel sad when someone relaxes/texturizers their hair? It's not sad - it's - it's a sense of loss, more so - and it ain't even my hair!
Maybe it's because I'm personally losing an inspiration - there aren't many natural women out there, and there are even fewer with thick 4a/4b hair who are growing it long, and there are even fewer who has been working it out for 4-5 years...... and so, each time one falls to the wayside, it worries me.
Am I insane to think that I can have hair like this?
Okay, maybe not quite so wild woman of the Andes looking, but - still! Or, am I REALLY doomed to being 'forced' into chemically changing my hair once it reaches APL/BSL? I don't know.
I think I'm blessed in that I don't MIND wearing twists and updos and buns - I don't think that they make me look exceedingly juvenile, and I actually think they can be kind of regal looking.
In addition, soon I won't be in the corporate world, so I'll have more - leeway - as to what sort of styles I can rock.
*sigh* I don't know - but at least I've pinned down my own feelings of loss - I've lost an inspiration, and that is righteously something that should make one sad.
Speaking of inspirations - I added a new album to the NapSnaps - inspirational hair! I'm going to have styles, and hair - mostly natural, but if I find a really impressive relaxed head (like Wanakee) I'll include them as well. I've been slacking on capturing inspirational pictures, and I think having the album will help.
Philosophy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hi, Kiya:
I just came across your link on LHCF (I lurk there often, but I'm a member of LHC), and I know how you feel. I don't see many natural heads in real life, so when someone whose hair I look up to decides to relax, I feel a sort of sadness that is similar to when someone you respect relocates to another company after working in your department for awhile...it's weird, because you know that it doesn't really change anything, but at the same time, you feel that it changes the way you relate to the person the same way. Or, at least that's how I feel, even though it is only hair. Thank God it's only hair, and not our personality, or something intrinsic within us, but just an outward expression that we choose to make it :)
But don't worry, YOU have a beautiful head of natural hair. I enjoy reading your blog here and on LHC. Keep rocking it, because you never know who you're inspiring.
Post a Comment