Understanding....

So.

Monday, I gained a bit more understanding of what the people who say that their hair is unmanageable go through, and I got proof positive that it's not my hair that is so different that makes it 'manageable' it's how I maintain and manage my hair that makes it manageable. I don't even think it's the products - it truly is the process, and when I deviate from that process, I pay.

First, let's start with this weekend. I clarified my hair, which always allows it to shrink up to it's fullest - my hair is most naked when it's clarified. I've yet to figure out what is on my hair that keeps it not as shrinky, but a good clarifying makes it super shrinky. Anyhow, I half and half'ed afterwards, under steam, then detangled (a little harder than usual, but normal for post-clarifiying), and braided to air-dry.

Sunday, I was cooking and doing other things, and I lost track of time - so by the time I sat down to do my hair, I really had only enough time to do the back, as I was not about to stay up for the extra 1.5 to do the front. I did the back in my usual twists, and then put the front into two loose flat twists, tucked under themselves. (Error 1 - a loose twist Error 2 - not securing it). The next morning, I took my usual shower (Error 3 - no shower cap), and then realized that the ends had shrunken over night so that they were no longer tucked into themselves. I 'fixed' that by braiding the ends together, and then went to work. Ugh, I hated that style - just - so unsatisfactory, but it was as it was.

I got home that night, worked out (in the state my front was, that was Error 4), and then went to sit down and twist the front of my hair.

Oh. My. Gods. It took me 3.5 hours - and at least 2.5 of those hours was JUST detangling, bit by bit, the tangles that my hair had worked itself into. I didn't just have my 'usual' tangles that kept themselves at the ends of my hair - no, no, I had tangles all up and down my hair shaft, almost to the root in some area. It was literally HORRFYING. I've gotten VERY spoiled by my hair, I'll admit, and going through that - it was SO tiring. And of course, I was being as gentle as I could, which made the process even slower - but still, by the time I was done, my scalp was throbbing from all the tugging and pulling I had to do in order to fully detangle my hair (again!!) in order to two strand twist it.

I was truly shellshocked - and that was from just allowing my mostly stretched hair the tiniest bit of freedom to tangle into itself. I might be seriously tempted to shave my head if I attempted to do a wash and go - or give myself a perm - because that's just how tangled and knotty it would be, and heaven knows, I'm not a patient person. *lol*

I really think that if I hadn't made Error 2 - not securing the twists in the first place - I wouldn't have had the issue, at all. If I had either left my hair in the air dried braids Sunday night, and loose twisted (and secured!) them Monday morning, I would have been fine. If I had secured the twists by braiding the ends to each other on Sunday night, I would have been fine. But giving my hair the leeway to shrink up, uncontrolled? Hah!

Never. Never. NEVER. will I make that error again. Even DH was cringing in sympathy for me.

I can say though, that my hair is much stronger and much healthier - I did have some breakage to deal with (and I think that was mostly my fault in not soaking my hair in more of my leave-in before starting to detangle) but mostly - my hair was STRONG! It was tangled, and it LIKED it that way, dammit! *lol*

Anyhow. That was my eye-opening experience.

At the same time, though, it even further solidified my thoughts that our hair is not innately unmanageable, amusingly enough. For a while, I was doubting myself, and thinking - hey. My hair used to be unmanageable. Maybe it's not really what I'm doing, but I've got 'manageable' hair when it's healthy.

Nawh, sista Nawh.

My hair is 'technically' just as tangly, knotty, stubborn and 'difficult' as it always has been - unhealthy or not - but now I know how to manage it, thus I make it manageable.

But, I can also acknowledge now, that it is a process. Just the process of fully detangling my hair - so that I can pull a rattail comb through a section smoothly, from root to tip - is an involved process. And I can see it literally being an all day process if I ever allowed it to retangle fully. It's a process to keep my hair 'stabilized' so that it doesn't have the ability to shrink up and tangle. It's the process that works, not some 'certain' type of hair, or some 'magic' product. And the more faithful I am to the process, the easier my hair becomes.

Another thing Monday confirmed for me was that as I gain more length my hair will be undoubtedly easier to handle. I'm thinking that I'll have a hard time until my hair is fully BSL - another 3 years, I'm thinking. After that, it'll be smooth sailing.
The reason for that is that is quite simple. If I maintain my hair, the only parts that get really tangled are the ends - last 3 inches, or so. If I can see the ends, it takes me about 1/4 of the time to detangle them than it does if I can't see them.

So.

Despite the pain and whinging I did on Monday over my hair, I'm kinda glad it occured. No longer do I have to wonder what would happen if I opted to go for a wash and go - I've seen a sliver of the future, and I'm just plain not interested. I've learned something new - a new piece of the process that I was doing without realizing it that is vital (securing the ends, somehow). I've reassured myself that as long as I maintain a process, I won't encounter more issues with more hair - even as it gets thicker.

Overall, I'm happy. Haven't touched my hair all week, because happy or not, I think we need a lil break from each other, but tomorrow night I plan on lavishing it in conditioner BEFORE I even take my twists down, to insure that any tangles I might have missed (esp. at the roots) get some extra weight on them before I 'release' the hold. I think I'll also do a salt treatment this weekend - after all the drama I put my ends through, I think they need it. *lol*

And, if I can find my tripod, I might do a video this weekend. I did a video tour of our house for my mom, and I really like our video camera - I should use it more often. I'm longwinded though (hah, no surprise there!) so it might be interesting to edit.

Ah! Also, I finally compared my written list of leave-in ingredients to the list I posted - and go me, I got them all right on the first go around.